


Pierce Hawthorne Does an AMA on Reddit

by Saint_Jesse



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28110540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saint_Jesse/pseuds/Saint_Jesse
Summary: The Old white man from OldWhiteManSays does an AMA! He explains past tweets as well as gives advice to users and friends.
Relationships: Reddit/Community
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	Pierce Hawthorne Does an AMA on Reddit

Reddit Transcript 6/9/2011  
Subreddit: r/oldwhitemansays (80,000 users)  
Subreddit Bio: Join us on discord! https://discord.gg/8pfrEXe  
Owner: u/towelette-tycoon  
Moderators: u/SexyLawyer, u/T-BONE, u/AnnieEdison, u/BrittatheBadass, u/ReligiousMom101, u/InspectorSpaceTime  
User: u/towelette-tycoon  
Post Title: Pierce Hawthorne Does an AMA!  
Post Body:

Hello everyone, its me Pierce Hawthorn, AKA Former Hawthorne Wipes CEO AKA Old White Man Says. Today I am doing an AMA, that means Ask Me Anything! Just comment and ill respond.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

|u/truobro3: Hey Pierce! I heard you think Jeff Winger is Pretty Gay. On a scale of 1-10, how gay is Jeff?  
||u/SexyLawyer: Hey buddy: Im an moderator on this stupid community and Im gonna permaban you if I hear any more of this  
|||u/towelette-tycoon: Oh Shut up Omega Gay! (Learned that from my Greek class) On a gayness scale, Jeff would be a 68/10 because he’s too pathetic for a 69  
||||u/T-BONE: Ha 69 nice

|u/celery: Where’s the best place to get a good Scotch?  
||u/towelette-tycoon: I think Somalia probably has the best Scotch in the world! They also have fine babes and rich white people just like me!  
|||u/ReligiousMom101: “rich white people” Do you know how racist that sounds?  
||||u/T-BONE: Its Pierce.  
|||||u/ReligiousMom101: That doesn’t excuse his actions!

|u/Raj_Sound: What advice would you give to a young stud looking to make his mark on the world?  
||u/towelette-tycoon: When I was a young man, still am, I was a stud such as yourself. I say that you piss off as many people as you can and become a CEO to flex on them. That way, you’ve earned their respect.  
|||u/SexyLawyer: If I were you, I wouldn’t take his advice. 

|u/Wittyno: where did that ear canon thing go from season 1?  
||u/InspectorSpaceTime: Hello fellow observer. These users do not understand the concept of seasons. We can refer to them as years.  
|||u/AnnieEdison: I have to apologize for my friend here he’s a little. Well. Lets just say he’s Abed. Anyways Pierce?  
||||u/towelette-tycoon: I have lost interest in ears. I have now moved on to butt stuff.  
|||||u/T-BONE: What type of butt stuff?  
||||||u/ReligiousMom101: Your too innocent to understand sweetie.

|u/Tbg_thatguy: Could you elaborate on this tweet you made on 9/23/10: Ill show you the tool thats most important to our survival.. but fair warning, its my penis.  
||u/towelette-tycoon: dm me  
|||u/SexyLawyer: DO NOT DM HIM.

|u/Anniesboobs: Hey Pierce: Reject Humanity, return to Monke  
||u/AnnieEdison: I take offense to that username.  
|||u/towelette-tycoon: OOGH ooh agghh Ooh Ahh Ahhh ooh  
||||u/SexyLawyer: wth?  
||||| u/towelette-tycoon: It means your gay jeff. get with the times.

|u/StreetsAhead: What did you mean by your tweet: “I AM NOW A LEVEL 7 LASER LOTUS #BUDDHISTBLESSED”  
||u/towelette-tycoon: You mortals would’nt get it. The buddhist has blessed me in ways you could not imagine.  
|||u/InspectorSpaceTime: He’s actually a part of a cult  
||||u/towelette-tycoon: Shut up bed head! Your kind have been in many cults!  
|||||u/AnnieEdison: Pierce! Not Nice! We talked about this!  
||||||u/towelette-tycoon: What!? All men have been in cults!

|u/buttcrackbandit: Explain this one: "every time you complain about how many genders there are we add 5 more”  
||u/towelette-tycoon: Am I wrong?  
|||u/BrittatheBadass: You are so wrong Pierce

|u/gallowboob: What were the 80’s like?  
||u/ReligiousMom101: Oh don’t even get him started  
|||u/towelette-tycoon: Well you see Mr.Boob, The 80s were a crazy time and we had mounds and mounds of Cocaine. We had the best music and America was doing great until the 90’s came along with their rap and participation awards. The Millennials have ruined this country. 

|u/cougartown: Could you elaborate on this tweet? “I like to think of myself as an attractive straight Harrison Ford”  
||u/BrittatheBadass: unfortunately, he looks nothing like Harrison Ford  
|||u/towelette-tycoon: Britta your lesbian so I wouldn’t trust you on Male beauty! I am in fact even more handsome than Harrison Ford!  
||u/InspectorSpaceTime: Nice username  
|||u/cougartown: Ditto

|u/gleehater: This ones for Britta actually, why do you say bagel funny?  
||u/BrittatheBadass: Its called being artisan and the way I say it is correct because I lived in New York!  
|||u/towelette-tycoon: Hey stop hijacking my AMA!  
||u/SexyLawyer: We think she may have brain rot  
|||u/AnnieEdison: Lets keep it civil in the comments  
||||u/InspectorSpaceTime: Its funny. Most of the fighting is going on between the mods.

|u/chang: WHY DID YOU FART IN MY CLASS  
||u/towelette-tycoon: Hey mods could you ban him?  
|||u/SexyLawyer: Workin on it  
||||u/chang: DONT YOU DARE WIN  
|||||u/SexyLawyer: See you in class chang

|u/elTigre: You can’t get rid of me that easily winger, Im the mfing Spanish Inquisition!  
||u/AnnieEdison: Salir de este sitio Chang. Y no hagas otra alt.  
|||u/elTigre: dile eso a mis 50 cuentas alternativas.  
||||u/towelette-tycoon: Why did you call chang a transgender?  
|||||u/SexyLawyer:ANNIE, your gonna get us a bad grade!  
||||||u/AnnieEdison: Pierce you couldn’t translate if you had a gun to your head! And Jeff, I obviously didn’t call him a transgender (Not that theirs anything wrong with that)  
|||||||u/towelette-tycoon: HAHAHA

|u/Pansexualimp: Pierce have you seen Jeff Naked?  
||u/towelette-tycoon: Of course I havent! Thats like level 80 gay! Olympic medal gayness!  
||u/SexyLawyer: Dean, shut.  
|||u/Pansexualimp: Your username does suit you  
||||u/SexyLawyer: I said, SHUT.

|u/Mirage: You removed your shocks from your car, but what did you replace them with? Ref https://twitter.com/oldwhitemansays/status/24921470964?s=19  
||u/towelette-tycoon: I didn’t. Every time I ride in it, it feels like the time I banged Eartha Kitt in that airplane bathroom: Rough and Fast.  
|||u/T-BONE: o_O

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
End of Reddit Thread Transcript

**Author's Note:**

> Special Thanks to:  
> -Community Discord Server  
> -Mirage  
> -Celery  
> -Wittyno  
> -Raj_sound  
> My First Independent Fan-Fic. I might do a part 2 since this was fun to write.  
> Constructive Criticism is encouraged.


End file.
